I have been more introspective at the close of this year then I ever have been! Maybe because this year I spent more time on training and developing ME? Maybe that would have been my word/phrase for 2015 – personal development? I think that the end of 2014 was when I first saw people making words for their year? Maybe?? Or maybe I just paid attention to it? And I couldn’t think deeply enough to dedicate a word for me to focus on all year long.
Since I spend so much this year on introspection, I can see areas that need change in my life. I realize I am involved in too many good things. What’s the saying about doing too many good things that don’t allow for the great things?
I realized when school started this fall we would have to cut things. Right off the bat, we cut 4H. It is a very good activity, just too many regular meetings when we are already living 4H out on our farm. Every day is already educational in farm life! We cut the girls’ from the local drama group. Mom was just tired of being the sole taxi driver and there isn’t anyone way out here in the country to carpool with. We stopped the regular involvement with the American Legion. We still made 130 Veterans Day cards and helped with the annual Turkey Bingo fundraiser but opted out of the monthly meeting and potluck. But you know what??? I still feel overwhelmed!
Several years ago, I read a book called “A Woman After God’s Own Heart” by Elizabeth George. It has been a huge impact on me (in fact it was the one that guided me to homeschool!) But I remember the author saying something like Mama being the thermostat of the house. If she is tired and cranky, her kids will show the same symptoms. In my case, if Mama is stressed, the kids will also be stressed.
As I was searching for a new Bible Study to do in November, I saw one titled Breathe by Priscilla Shirer. I had to think about it for a few weeks but decided that it was the study I needed to close the year out with. I have a problem slowing down. In fact, that’s probably the reason I don’t sit still enough to focus on this blog.
I have learned so much from it. First off, I don’t feel I have trusted God enough with our finances. That is something WE are supposed to control, in my faulty opinion. Secondly, I learned that I am a slave to busy-ness. I feel my self-worth comes from what I accomplish. My son said a few weeks ago that we are not honoring the Sabbath as that’s one day we work even harder than others since Daddy is home and we can get projects done. How convicting is that?? Now, I think he also had ulterior motives since working is not his preference!
Daryl and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary this week. We went out to a delicious local sourced restaurant and talked for several hours. As we always do, we looked back on the years and he commented on our lack of Sabbath rest. Since D confirmed my thoughts, I knew this was something I need to change/focus on it for this next year.
So what will my word be for 2016?? Peace.
I will seek God in all my decisions – all my essential oil business decisions, all my farming decisions, all my homeschooling decisions. I am seeking Peace. If I don’t have God’s peace, I don’t want it!