Purpose, Joy, Abundance

These are my words to remember in 2018.

The year 2017 was covered by a black cloud of depression and anxiety.  I have struggled with it since becoming parent to my special needs son and have had it under control for the last 10 years.  But in 2017, the words to describe my year were – worry, shortcomings, fear, not measuring up.  Thankfully, I was able to make several changes and ended the year in a good place.

Since Christmas, I’ve been doing a lot of reflection – examining the lessons I’ve learned since even bad things give us lessons!  I’m taking time to THINK and not just DO.

Along with this, I started a new Bible study – the title spoke to me so I bought it – “Proven – Where Christ’s Abundance meets our Greatest Need.”  I have always felt that I’ve had to prove myself.  In all areas of my life – wife, mom, homeschool teacher, friend, daughter in law, good citizen – the list goes on.  My WORK measures who I am.

The study open with the “Fullfilled.”  Hard word.  Am I???  Do I believe that God wants me to be fulfilled and happy here on earth?  And to have an abundant life?  What do those words mean?  Do I feel it??  Has my life become a DUTY?

Jennie Allen goes on to talk about how Jesus had purpose and joy and this affected everything he did!  Those words hit me hard.  Purpose AND joy.  Here on earth.

Later on she shares John 10 “9 I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

11 “I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep.

Jesus gives us life ABUNDANTLY.  We HAVE it if we take it.

The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy – my life, my joy, my purpose, my abundance.

My job is to trust and rest.  He has me.  I need to breathe in trust, rest, and peace.  And breathe out fear, striving and worry.  As I do this regularly throughout my day, He will refill me with his Joy.

BUT this is not saying that I should just sit and breathe.  I have a PURPOSE.  What is it?

Each one of us has a different purpose in this world.  We all may be wives and mothers which is FULL of purpose.  But we all have an individualized purpose too.  And each of us have the freedom for those purposes to be different.

As I’ve been journaling and reading and listening to podcasts, I’m finding and redefining my purpose.  I know I am at the right place because so many things are shouting at me. The same things.

Several things are helping me DO my purpose.  The 12 Week Year which is training me to guide the goals of my purpose and my planner.

These words of the Lord motivate me.  From Deuteronomy 31:6 “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you or forsake you.  Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged.”

And found in 2 Corinthians 4:7 “We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and is not from us.”

We live in a rural area but I know the importance of daily Bible studying.  You may not believe it but I have to limit my trips to town because I do live at home – not in the car running errands.  So I get Bible studies that have daily work and then online video sessions.  The video sessions make it feel like I’m doing it with my best friend.  Even though these ladies don’t even know me!!

I start my day with the devotional called “Jesus Calling” and have used it every morning for maybe 8 years??  And it still speaks to me almost every day!  I have tried to start new books but my heart goes back to this.

2017 wasn’t the best year for me completing Bible studies!  Ugh.  I started and finished only one.  ONE.  Thankful I had the bible verses from Jesus Calling to get me through.

But the one I completed is a GOOD one.  Obviously it was the one that God wanted me to do.

It is called “A 

Woman who doesn’t Quit.  Five Habits from the Book of Ruth” by Nicki Koziarz.  Fitting title, don’t you think??  It only took me 6 months to do a 6 week study.

It is a powerful study.  Talks about hard situations and how to press through them.

Watching the video lessons made me feel that Nicki and I were chatting over coffee.  Which is exactly what I needed.  She shared her struggles and I could share mine too.

I won’t be giving anything away by sharing the 5 habits because the daily study is the powerful part.  That’s where the Lord worked in my heart.

I’m going to share them so I can review the habits myself:

1. She accepts the assignment of refinement.
2. She follows through despite how she feels.
3. She stays open to the movement of God.
4. She gives others what she needs.
5. She moves forward in faith.

I love the story of Ruth.  I’d love to study even deeper but this is what I needed at just this time.  I hope you will consider adding this to your bible study wish list.

Welcome to the New Year!  2018!!  Say what??

As I was listening to KLove today, I hear January described as the most depressing month of the year.  I am not feeling that this year.

Last year (2017) was a rough year for me.  I felt like I had a mental breakdown and that affected every aspect of my life.  I was deep in a depressive pit.  My anxiety wasn’t allowing me sleep.  I was a wreck.  But I tried many things to help and by September/October, I finally made enough changes that I could see a positive change in my health.

I tried to take back charge of our finances and what happened!?!?!  Everything broke!  Cars, appliances, legal bills, so much that my Dave Ramsey emergency fund just laughed.

I started Bible studies and then dropped out of them.

We had lots of farming disasters.

Riley started our local community college classes and it was so hard to manage three different grade levels.  My mental capacity was gone.

BUT…..

That year is over.  I ended up seeing that God brought me to my knees to realize I am not enou

gh.  But He is.  He is with me through all of this.  And all this is part of his creative story for my life.  I say creative because everything He does, does not fit into man’s idea of how it should be done but so much more!

As I reflected on the season of Christmas, the Son of God did not come to earth in a glorious , kingly way.  He came down in the most humblest of ways.  Born to a single teenager in a stinky smelly stable.  If God can save the world in the most creative way, I am going to let him work his ways in my life too.  It will be in a way I don’t imagine but I am going to trust his ways.

I ended up finishing the Bible study I dropped out of 6 months before.  And do you know the title?  It was called “The Woman who wouldn’t Quit.”  How ironic.  And I learned so much through it.  I want to do it again!

Finances still are not good but it has encouraged me to teach biblical personal finances to the kids this year.  I wish I had something like that when I was growing up.

Riley finished her two college classes and finished strong.  We learned so much about areas I haven’t been a good teacher and learned that she works harder for teachers other than her mother!  So we’ll keep her in a couple of those classes each semester.

Disasters are part of farming and I’ve researched some possible solutions.

I took a few days off between the holidays to reflect on our year and things we learned and now I know what to focus on for the next year.

I am truly excited for on the New Year!!!

After examining our spending for a moth, I saw a huge area where we were not in control.  Spending on food.  This covers groceries AND eating out.  I always thought we didn’t eat out much but the numbers don’t lie!!  Granted, Daryl took a trip with the kids and they had to eat out the entire time but still, our spending was crazy!  And then because I hadn’t planned well for lunches, we’d have to grab something while running errands.  Lack of planning is my downfall!

So after setting our food budget this month, I sat and stared in our pantry.  It’s fairly well stocked with basics.  What things can I make meals from in here?  Then I went and stared in our freezers.  We raise our own meats (beef, pork, chicken) so we have more than the average person in our freezers.  I then started a list of all the meals we can make from these ingredients.

Another pitfall I discovered about lack of planning is there is nothing leftover to eat for the next lunch.  My kids do not like sandwiches and my lunch choices have not been very healthy or budget conscious.

I have been following a blog mom lifeasmom.com for many years. She is the queen of meal

planning, shopping with a budget, being organized and freezer cooking. I have one of her cookbooks called Not Your Mother’s Freezer Cookbook which we love.  I love her recipes because they are real food ingredients.  And I can easily adapt to gluten free for me.

So I looked through her cookbook and immediately saw 10 recipes that would be kid approved and easy for me to fill my freezer with for lunches.

I don’t meal plan like some who say “Monday is this,  Tuesday is this…”  I just write down the meals we have all the ingredients for.  Then the morning of, I examine my day and usually ask the kids what they prefer off the list.  Unless it’s a crazy day and know I need a crockpot type  meal and start that preparation the night before.

So I wrote down all the dinner and lunch plans, made a list of where I get them, and then shopped.  I didn’t add up how much I was spending as it was the beginning of the month and these were all staples.

This past Saturday, I got to work on filling freezer with lunch meals and canning.  The meals were mostly for my kids.  I took some of the main ingredients (like the chicken from the chicken bacon ranch sandwiches) and added spaghetti squash for them for my lunches.  Then I wrapped them up, labeled them and put them in the freezer.  They can be thawed and heated the morning of eating.

The effort makes me so happy!  Freezer filled with yummy foods!  And making sure I stay on spending plan.